I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
