By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
