she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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