I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
