Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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