Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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