so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
