Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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