Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
