Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
