I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
