he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You need Xanax blowdarts
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
