put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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