you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
