My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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