No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
