I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
