Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
