You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
