What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
True strength comes from lack of pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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