My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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