She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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