My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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