walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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