i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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