i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
then he tried to convert me to islam
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize