hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
