The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drake has all the answers
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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