who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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