i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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