I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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