wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
