i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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