Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize