I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
