My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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