He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
