He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
