Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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