i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
