dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
