i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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