So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize