Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
