I want to stick my p in your. b.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
