I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize