those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
