The maid of honor just puked.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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