U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
