You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
