she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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