HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
