Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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