Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
