she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
