i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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