I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Randomize
