i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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