is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
