I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize