You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I had to cum in my sink.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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