Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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