I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
