it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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