Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
