Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
