Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
