After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I need to stop coming to work sober
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
