he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
