your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
