good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
