Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
