Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
