three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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