operation have a gay friend backfired
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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