tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
