i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Enjoy the penises
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
