that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
