Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
