i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
