i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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