So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
