Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
ok first of all what the fuck
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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