Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
